Growing Grit: Building resilience in children - Why small challenges matter in the Early Years.

As adults, it can be very tempting to make life easier for children.

We open the tricky container.  Fix the block tower.  Find the missing puzzle piece.  Carry the bag.  Step into a disagreement.  Or quickly say, “Here, let me help you.”

Sometimes children absolutely need our help.

But sometimes they need something else just as much — the chance to work through a small challenge and discover what they are capable of.

This is where what we often call “grit” begins.

In early childhood, we are more likely to talk about resilience, persistence, confidence, problem-solving and a growth mindset — skills that help children keep going when something is difficult.

A Little Struggle Can Be a Good Thing

The Early Years Learning Framework recognises that resilience and persistence are important parts of children’s wellbeing and learning.

Children build these skills when they have opportunities to explore, make decisions, try something new, experience setbacks and have another go.

That might look very simple:

·         A toddler trying several times to get their shoe on.

·         A child rebuilding a tower after it falls.

·         Working out how two pieces connect.

·         Waiting for a turn.

·         Trying a new physical challenge.

·         Finding another way when the first idea doesn't work.

These might seem like small moments, but they are giving children valuable practice in managing frustration, solving problems and persisting when something feels difficult and building resilience in children.

Before We Jump In...

When a child becomes frustrated, our instinct is often to rescue them.

Instead, sometimes we can give them a moment.

Watch.

Encourage.

Ask a question.

Offer just enough help to get them started again.

Play-based learning is particularly valuable for this because children are constantly experimenting, testing ideas, making decisions and solving problems.  ACECQA describes play as an opportunity for children to explore ideas, challenge their thinking and build new understandings.

The aim isn't to leave children struggling or distressed.

It is finding the balance between supporting them and doing it for them.

Change the Way We Praise

Building persistence can also be as simple as changing the words we use.

Instead of focusing only on the finished result:

“That's perfect!”

Try noticing what happened along the way:

“You kept trying even when that was tricky.”

“Your first idea didn't work, so you tried something different.”

“You worked really hard on that.”

“You haven't worked it out yet. What could you try next?”

This helps children understand that mistakes and setbacks aren't signs that they can't do something.

They are a normal part of learning.

The Raising Children Network similarly recommends encouraging children to persist, praising their effort and helping them develop problem-solving skills rather than solving every minor problem for them.

Resilience Isn't About “Toughening Up”

This is an important distinction.

Raising resilient children doesn't mean expecting them to cope with everything alone.

Research describes resilience as something that develops through both a child's growing skills and the support and relationships around them — it isn't simply a personality trait that a child either has or doesn't have.

Children still need caring adults to comfort them, encourage them, help them regulate big emotions and provide a safe place to come back to when things become overwhelming.

Sometimes the most powerful message we can give a child is:

“I know this is hard. I'm here. Let's work out what you could try next.”

Growing Capable Children

Across our Skippy's Early Learning centres in Frenchville (Rockhampton), Gracemere and Yeppoon, these little opportunities happen every day through play-based learning.

We don't need to manufacture big challenges for young children.

Everyday life provides plenty.

Our role is not always to clear every obstacle from their path, but to give children the time, encouragement, relationships and opportunities they need to gradually learn how to navigate them.

Because the goal isn't a child who never struggles.

It is a child who slowly begins to believe:

“This is hard… but maybe I can work it out.”

And that is a skill they can carry with them long after their early childhood years.